


Lost In Japan

by winnix



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:14:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnix/pseuds/winnix
Summary: It’s sort of a surprise when Steven comes up to his desk one day with three plane tickets and a look on his face like he’s delivering the best Christmas present of all time. Andrew stares at the tickets and then up at him.“Japan?” Andrew asks. Steven beams, tongue sticking out slightly between his teeth.“Japan,” he affirms.





	Lost In Japan

When Steven asks Andrew to do some show about food with him Andrew doesn’t really think twice about it. He likes food and Steven is nice enough, a generally friendly presence around the office. Sure, Andrew doesn't know him super well, but he decides at that moment that maybe taking a small risk is worth it. 

Later, when Steven tells him the name of the show, Andrew smiles. 

“Yeah,” he says, “let’s get some pizza.” 

* * *

 

 

It’s months later, way into the first season, when Steven looks up at in the middle of a shoot and it just _clicks,_ like a lock finally giving way. Andrew momentarily hates himself for deciding to fall in love while he’s eating a hot dog, for Christ’s sake, but it’s really out of his control. Steven just looks at him and smiles and Andrew realizes how dangerous everything has become. Adam switched the camera off a few minutes ago and they’re just sitting there, eating their ridiculous food in the dipping sunlight. Everything is orange and hazy and it feels too good to touch. Steven mentions something about how he’s starting to really like truffle. Andrew wonders briefly how long he’ll be able to keep this up.

 

* * *

 

They go to Japan. 

It’s sort of a surprise when Steven comes up to his desk one day with three plane tickets and a look on his face like he’s delivering the best Christmas present of all time. Andrew stares at the tickets and then up at him. 

“Japan?” Andrew asks. Steven beams, tongue sticking out slightly between his teeth. 

“Japan,” he affirms. 

 

They leave within a week. 

Adam gets the window seat on their flight, lucky bastard, so Andrew is stuck between a sleeping cameraman and a hyperactive co-host. Steven is practically bouncing in his seat by the time the plane takes off, and it takes him a good three hours before he finally takes a break from talking about all of the places he wants to visit. 

“Are you sure we’ll have time to go everywhere?” Andrew asks incredulously as the flight attendant comes down the aisle with their dinner. Steven shrugs, accepting the tray and examining it. 

“I don’t know,” he admits, peeling back the plastic wrap, “but we can always go back.” Something about the word “we” sticks to the roof of Andrew’s mouth. He’s starting to feel like they might be something permanent. Adam snores beside him. Andrew tugs apart his soggy roll and turns his attention back to the in-flight movie. 

A few hours later, when Steven dozes off, his head comes to rest lazily on Andrew’s shoulder. When Steven stirs and Andrew mumbles “Go back to sleep”, he’s thankful no one is awake to hear. 

* * *

 

“Remind me again why we have to share a room when Adam gets one to himself?” Andrew asks the moment they’ve settled in their hotel room. They’re staying in Shinjuku, right near the massive train station, and everything felt so chaotic outside that closing the door to their shared room plunged them into a silence that made Andrew’s stomach drop. 

“Because,” Steven begins, flopping down on one of the beds, “we don’t have the budget for three single rooms. And Adam snores.” 

Unfortunately, Andrew can’t argue with that. 

For a moment, Andrew just stands their, awkwardly gauging the distance between their two beds. The whole room is decently sized, but for some reason, there's only a small side table separating his bed from Steven’s. Steven watches him for a moment. 

“You know, you can have the single room if you want,” he offers. Andrew shakes his head, reminding himself to behave like a normal person. 

“No,” he assures, “this is great. I’m just tired, that’s all.” 

“That makes two of us,” Steven huffs, checking his phone, “I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”

“You slept so much on the plane I thought you’d be well-rested by now,” Andrew smirks, finally setting down his suitcase on his own bed. 

“Oh,” Steven murmurs, and Andrew can practically feel him stiffen behind him, “yeah, sorry about that,” he finishes awkwardly, obviously referring to the fact that he'd used Andrew as his pillow. Andrew shrugs, suddenly very glad he’s not facing Steven. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. After a moment where Andrew feels like Steven might do a hundred things or nothing at all, he just gets up and heads to the bathroom. Andrew only exhales when he hears the door click shut. 

That night, when Steven is fast asleep, Andrew tentatively reaches across the gap. His fingers just brush the edge of Steven’s bed. Andrew lets his arm fall. 

* * *

 

They spend the first day doing coffee. They have to wake up early for it, which is a lot more painful than Andrew bargained for. Jet lag is tugging at his eyelids, making everything heavy and hazy for the first few hours. Adam, of course, seems completely unaffected by the time difference and is up and ready to go before Andrew has even gotten out of the shower. Steven fares about as well as Andrew, but he puts on a brave face, meaning he behaves like his usual, perky self. They meet up with Rie at the massive train station a few blocks from their hotel. Steven greets her with a hug. Andrew has already sweat through his shirt, so he opts for a handshake. 

The intro shoot is quick and Rie is sweet and professional and sets the whole group at ease. She guides them through the train station without a hitch and soon, the four of them are settled on the train, heading to their first destination. Outside, Tokyo shifts by in flashes. Andrew feels a bit like he's in a dream, like he can’t quite wrap his head around how he got here. 

Steven nudges him lightly with his shoulder. 

“Hard to believe we’re here, right?” Steven voices Andrew’s thoughts perfectly. 

“Yeah,” Andrew shakes his head, “it’s crazy.” Steven smiles, bright and eager. Andrew can’t help but smile back. 

* * *

 

They finish up at Coffee Elementary School just as the lights of the city are beginning to turn on, bathing everything in an intense, neon glow. It catches in Steven’s hair, illuminating it so it looks almost unearthly. Andrew tries not to stare. Even though he’d never admit it, Andrew feels a bit drunk. Drunk and giddy. It’s very out of character. The coffee they had was delicious and Steven was warm and confident by his side and he’s starting to get into that headspace where he simply marvels at the fact that this is his job and he gets paid to do it. 

They’re on the way back to the train station when Rie insists on getting all of them to try peach cola. Steven is hunched over a vending machine grabbing the drinks when Rie comes to stand beside him.

“How are you liking Japan?” She asks, drink already in hand. 

“It’s amazing,” Andrew says earnestly, “thank you so much for showing us around.” Steven straightens up and catches Andrew’s eye. He grins and tosses him the last cola. Andrew catches it without even thinking. Rie smirks. 

“It’s my pleasure,” she assures him. They fall into a companionable silence for a while, trailing behind Steven and Adam. Andrew picks absentmindedly at the label on his drink and watches Steven talk to Adam excitedly about something a few paces ahead. 

“I can’t believe Buzzfeed paid for us to come here,” Andrew finally admits. Rie looks at him, surprise evident, before taking a thoughtful sip of her drink. 

“Sometimes their money is good for something,” she says after a moment. Andrew chuckles, finally trying his cola. It’s sweet but in a good way. He takes another sip. 

“Still, I can’t believe we can do stuff like this. It feels too good to be true.”

“You guys have a great show,” she shrugs, taking another sip of her soda, “a lot of people love it. It makes sense they’d want to pay for you to do stuff like this.”

“I just don’t get why so many people keeping watching, you know?” Andrew mutters, tearing off a bit of the label with his thumb, “I mean, what’s so special about two guys eating expensive food?” 

“You two,” she gestures between him and Steven, who’s still a few feet ahead of them, making great sweeping arm movements as he talks, “that’s special, right?” Andrew stares at her, but she just shoots him a quick smile and jogs to catch up with Steven and Adam, leaving Andrew alone with a raw, sugary taste in his mouth. 

 

* * *

 

Adam wakes them both up the next morning with a sharp knock on their hotel room door. For a moment Andrew thinks the room is on fire, or maybe Adam is on fire. That’s the only reason why he should be woken up this early.

“I’m not getting up,” Steven grumbles from the other bed. A bit of milky light is slipping in through their curtains, and Andrew happens to look over at Steven at the exact moment that it hits him, illuminating his hair like a halo. Steven rubs lazily at his eyes and Andrew realizes with a jolt that Steven isn’t wearing a shirt. Steven sleeps shirtless. In the same room as Andrew. 

That’s enough to wake him up. 

“What?” Andrew greets Adam when he finally shuffles out of bed to open the door. 

“Let’s go to Harajuku,” Adam says. It’s not really a suggestion, but Andrew nods sleepily in agreement none the less. They don’t have anything to shoot until later in the day anyway (Ramen, Andrew remembers happily), so spending the day exploring sounds fun. 

“Yes!” Steven practically jumps out of bed behind Andrew, rushing to the door. His bare chest slams into Andrew’s back and his arms wrap around his shoulders in a lopsided hug, “Harajuku!” 

If Adam notices the choked expression on Andrew’s face at the sudden physical contact, he thankfully doesn’t say anything. 

 

Harajuku is a short train ride away, and they decide to meet up with Rie at the station again, happy to spend time with her outside of a shoot. She greets them with a smile and a tray of iced coffee. 

“Hope you aren't sick of this stuff after yesterday,” she says, handing Andrew a cup. 

“Never,” he assures. 

They spend most of the day drifting in and out of stores, Andrew trailing after an exuberant Steven and a much more mellow Adam, with Rie leading the way. Steven ends up buying a sweatshirt at some streetwear boutique, which he shows off to Andrew happily. 

“Cute, right?” He asks. Andrew is pretty sure Steven could make a garbage bag look cute, but he just nods and agrees. 

Later, just as the sun is beginning to set, when they’re eating ice cream outside a small cafe, Rie strikes up a conversation with two girls who happen to own a pretty adorable Pomeranian. At one point, the girls glance up at Steven and Andrew, who are sitting at a small table behind Rie. A bit of ice cream had dripped onto Steven’s chin and Andrew is absentmindedly wiping it away with a napkin while Steven insists he isn’t a baby and he can clean himself up properly, thank you very much. They look up curiously when the girls point at them. 

“They, uh,” Rie begins, suddenly looking a bit nervous, “they asked how long you two have been together.”

“Oh, we’re not - ” Andrew begins. 

“One year!” Steven exclaims at the same time. Rie translates and the girls offer them words of congratulations before heading off again with a wave, their dog trotting happily behind them. Steven waves in return, wishing them a good night with some of the few Japanese words he knows. 

“One year, huh?” Andrew asks later, when Rie is back with Adam, laughing at some joke he told (likely at Steven and Andrew’s expense). 

“Yeah,” Steven shrugs, “it’s been about a year since you agreed to do Worth It with me.” 

“Wow,” Andrew says despite himself. Steven grins, turning his attention back to his quickly melting ice cream. He's quite literally thousands of miles from L.A., but at that moment, Andrew feels remarkably at home. 

* * *

 

It’s Adam idea to go to Karaoke after they drop their equipment back at the hotel. Andrew is sleepy and happy and full of ramen which is the only reason he is lulled into agreeing. The three of them find a dive bar a few blocks from the hotel with a karaoke set up and it only takes a few beers (and some ill-advised shots) before Steven and Adam are up on stage, singing an impassioned duet to a song Andrew thinks neither of them actually know. 

“Voice of an angel,” Andrew praises when Adam stumbles off stage, settling back into the booth beside him. Steven is already picking out his next song. 

“I know,” Adam grins. They both nurse their beers for a bit, watching Steven finally settle on a song. Adam gives a roaring round of applause at the decision. Steven bows in response. Even in the dim half-light of the bar, he’s glowing.

“So,” Adam mutters once Steven starts the off-key ballad, “when are you gonna tell him?”

“Tell who what?” Andrew asks, taking another swing of his drink.

“Steven,” Adam says like it’s obvious, “when are you gonna tell Steven you’re into him?”

It takes every ounce of control Andrew has to not start choking on his beer. 

“What?” He splutters. Adam rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t play dumb, dude,” Adam says, “you do remember I have a camera pointed at your face like every day, right?” Andrew suddenly feels like a child found with a broken window and a baseball, like he’s been caught in a lie. 

“Shit,” he swears after a moment. If Adam sees it through the camera, that means everyone else can probably see it too. Including, maybe, Steven. Shit. 

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, “you aren’t subtle.” 

“ _Shit_ ,” Andrew repeats. 

“It’s ok, man. I mean,” Adam gestures to Steven, who’s fist is pumping in the air despite the slow nature of the song, “he’s pretty damn lovable.” Andrew huffs in reluctant agreement. 

“Besides,” Adam says, quieter than before, “I think the feeling might be mutual.” 

Andrew doesn’t let himself dwell on that thought for too long. He accepted a while ago that what he wanted was stupid and impossible. Steven is his co-worker, his _co-host,_ and he’s not gonna jeopardize either of their jobs over some ill-fated crush. Relationships can go wrong and Andrew doesn't really want everyone’s hard work on the show to be wasted just because he’s love sick. 

“Maybe,” is all Andrew says. 

 

Andrew is roped into one song before he finally decides to call it a night and go back to the room. Steven follows him out into the swiftly cooling night air in the name of escaping the smoke of the bar for a moment. 

“It’s hot in there,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“I think it might be all of the dancing you keep doing on stage,” Andrew observes. Steven laughs, lower in his chest than usual. Something in Andrew’s mind switches gradually, like a knob being turned. Steven looks at him. 

“I’m really glad we’re here,” he murmurs, and it’s so earnest Andrew is taken aback. 

“Me too,” he agrees, not daring to say anything more. His heartbeat is pounding in his ears, a dull thud over the din of music still coming out of the bar behind them. 

“Andrew,” Steven begins, and Andrew thinks he must be really fucking drunk because there’s no other way Steven would be looking at him like that. Like he’s _hungry_. 

Andrew feels like an exposed wire, like if Steven came any closer he might go off in a flurry of sparks. 

“It’s getting late,” Andrew says. 

“Andrew,” Steven takes a step closer, entering into Andrew’s orbit. All the careful resolve he’s built up over the past three goddamn seasons is flying out the window because Steven is looking at him like Andrew could take his heart out with his hands if he wanted to. Everything is too close and too hot and Andrew feels like he can’t breathe, like Steven is choking him. 

“I have to go,” he mutters and practically runs in the other direction. 

That night, when Steven slips into their hotel room, Andrew pretends to be asleep. 

In the morning, everything is back to normal. 

* * *

 

The next two days pass in a bit of a blur and before Andrew knows it, it’s time to finish up the season and head to Osaka. They’re only there for two nights, and then they’re flying back to the states and the trip will be over. The realization feels bittersweet. Andrew loves Japan and he always misses Worth It when the season is over, but lately, whenever he’s around Steven he feels like he’s holding his breath. He’s not sure how sustainable that really is. 

They train ride is three hours, and it’s not as bad as Andrew thought it would be, being that close to Steven for that long. Despite Andrew’s own issues, Steven is still his friend, his _best_ friend, and no one can make him laugh like he can. Luckily, the place they’re staying at in Osaka is a bit less expensive, so each of them gets their own room and Andrew doesn’t even have to consider that minefield again. Everything seems to be like it was before, way before, when Andrew hadn't messed everything up and fallen in love. It’s easy, sometimes, to pretend. 

That doesn't stop Andrew from wondering, after they finish up at their last coffee location, what Steven would taste like if he leaned over and kissed him. 

“Last day of shooting tomorrow,” Steven states on their way back through town, hands shoved in his back pockets. Andrew nods, suddenly feeling like they’re dancing around something delicate. 

“Yeah,” he says, choosing to limit his words for his own sake. He catches Steven’s frown out of the corner of his eye. Maybe Andrew isn't as good at pretending as he thought.

 

It rains their last night in Japan. Andrew wakes up on his own accord, listening to the soft drumming of the rain on his window. He feels the lack of Steven beside him just as much as he felt his presence. 

As if on cue, there’s a knock at his door. When he opens it, he’s only half-surprised to see Steven on the other side, an umbrella tucked under his arm. 

“I can’t sleep,” he says. Andrew nods and gets his coat. 

* * *

 

Despite the rain, it’s still warm in Osaka. They wander aimlessly for a bit, their shoulders occasionally bumping under the umbrella. Andrew wonders briefly if getting soaked would be the better option. They find themselves on the same canal they’d been at earlier after their shoot, all lit up and lonely at this time of night.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” Steven says, the first words spoken since they start walking. 

“Me too,” Andrew agrees, and as much as he’s talking about Japan, he’s also talking about the strange little universe they’ve created, just him and Steven and their friends and nothing else. 

The rain patters lazily against the canal, casting ripples through the reflected light on the surface. Andrew is watching them so intently he doesn’t even realize when Steven slows to a halt, coming to stand a few paces in front of him. Andrew feels the drizzle hit him but he doesn't try to move. 

“Andrew,” Steven begins, “what’s going on?”

Everything slows to a stop, the rain, the noise of passing cars, the city itself. It all stops, leaving Andrew feeling exposed in their absence. 

“What do you mean?” He asks. Steven scoffs. It doesn’t look right on him. 

“You know what I mean. I mean you,” he gestures to Andrew, “all of this. Something is off.” 

Andrew sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his raincoat. 

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” he says, more to himself than Steven.

“I get it,” Steven starts, and his voice is so small, Andrew fucking hates himself for making it sound like that, “this show was never your thing. I just dragged you along.”

“Steven,” Andrew begins, fist balled up where Steven can’t see them, “please, that’s not what I meant.”

“I can always find another co-host,” Steven says, and it hurts like a bitch but Andrew knows he doesn’t mean it because Steven’s not looking him in the eye and his voice is practically trembling. 

“No, you can’t,” Andrew says. Steven finally looks up to glare at him, “I don’t want you to.” Steven hesitates, the damp night air settling like a weight between them. Everything is blurry and warped under the wavering neon light. 

“You have to give me something, ok?” Steven finally says, shoulders hunched. “I can’t keep acting like we’re friends if you won’t even look at me.”

“I’m looking at you right now,” Andrew says, and he is. He hasn’t been able to look away. Steven meets his eyes and something deep inside of Andrew crackles and sparks. “Maybe I don’t want to be friends.” 

“Don’t be an asshole,” Steven mutters.

“I’m serious,” Andrew says, and in a moment of bravery he shifts closer so he’s standing right in front of Steven, their chests nearly pressed together. He can _feel_ Steven’s breath change. 

“What do you want then?” Steven’s finally getting it, which makes it all the scarier. Andrew’s courage leaves like the tide, briefly, before Steven exhales and everything grows hot inside of him. Slowly, he tilts his head. 

“Steven,” Andrew whispers, “can I?”

“Yes,” Steven exhales, and Andrew’s kissing him. He practically bowls Steven over with the force of it. For a moment, everything feels too explosive inside of him, like his lungs are too full for his ribs. Then, Steven’s hand comes to rest on his cheek and it all settles down again. Andrew feels molten beneath his touch. Everything is slow and gentle and perfect and it takes a moment for Andrew to realize that at some point his hands snaked their way around Steven’s waist and they started full on making out. Steven loses grip of his umbrella and they’re left standing there in the rain, kissing until Andrew has to break away for necessity of air. 

“I’m sorry,” Andrew says in the fraction of a breath between them. 

“For kissing me?” Steven murmurs. 

“No,” Andrew breaths out a small laugh, “for being an asshole.”

“You aren’t an asshole,” Steven brings his forehead to rest against Andrew’s, “I promise.” 

Andrew kisses him again, and this time, he doesn’t even notice the rain. 

* * *

 

“How long have you known?” Steven asks later, when they’re back in Andrew’s room and moments away from falling asleep, all tangled up in each other. Andrew suppresses a laugh when he remembers the hot dogs.

“Uh, for a while,” he admits. “How about you?” He asks, shifting his head so he can look up at Steven. Steven grins. 

“For a while.”

* * *

 

The next day, after all the shooting is done and everyone is engrossed in their ridiculous food, Steven looks up at Andrew in the middle of Tasty Japan HQ and Andrew leans over and kisses him. Steven tastes like coffee and sweat and frosting and _himself_. His lips are a bit chapped and his hands ball themselves up in Andrew’s t-shirt. Andrew can feel Steven smile against his lips. He kisses him again and again, until he’s dizzy with it, until he loses count. 

It’s the best thing Andrew’s ever done. 

**Author's Note:**

> title from "lost in japan" by shawn mendes (aka the song of the summer)
> 
> sorry if the timeline is a little wonky - everything was literally based on what outfits they were wearing in what locations


End file.
